Building Your Own Village

When we’re asked what support we have around us, we often think about family — or friends who visit.

But for many families, that isn’t the reality.

Sometimes family and friends don’t live nearby.
Sometimes they do, but aren’t able to offer the kind of support we need.
And sometimes, those relationships just aren’t there.

Over time, I’ve come to realise that we often have to build our own village of support — and that support doesn’t always look how we expect.

Some of the most meaningful support can come from people we rarely, or never, meet in person.

Online spaces can be incredibly powerful.

Facebook support groups, local NAS groups, forums, and connections formed through shared experiences can offer understanding in a way that’s hard to find elsewhere.

One of my greatest sources of support is a WhatsApp group with two friends who are also mums to autistic children.

We rarely see each other in person.
We don’t visit each other’s homes or babysit for one another.

But we message every day.

We share the highs and the lows, the funny moments, the exhausting ones.
We trust each other with the hard stuff.
We notice when one of us is struggling — and we show up.

When you connect with other parents who understand your reality, something shifts.

You don’t have to explain yourself.
You don’t have to justify your parenting.
You don’t have to apologise.

They get it — and you get them.

And that kind of understanding can lift a huge weight.

So if your “village” doesn’t look how you expected, you are not alone.

You are allowed to build one that works for you.

Join the groups.
Find your people.
And if privacy is a concern, it’s okay to create a separate profile to do so.

Support doesn’t have to be close by to be meaningful.

Sometimes, the most important support is simply knowing that someone else understands.

At Family Avenues, we often talk about the importance of connection — because no family should feel like they are navigating this alone.

How to be a confident parent.

When my child was a baby, I read all the books — the sleep routines, the feeding guides, the “do this, not that” manuals. Each one had a different method. Each one promised it was the right way. I remember feeling completely confused and overwhelmed by all the mixed messages. In the end, I physically threw all the books in the bin and decided to do it my way.

Since my child’s diagnosis, that decision has become even more important.

I parent differently to how I was parented.
I parent differently to my friends who have neurotypical children.
I know they sometimes think I’m too soft… or too strict.
And yes, I do things as a parent of an autistic child that other parents might be horrified by.

But here’s the thing — I’ve learnt not to care.
I parent my child in the way they need to be parented, and in the way that works for us.

So…

If they need their iPad to regulate — I won’t be confiscating it.

No, we don’t visit Father Christmas. They’d hate it.

If they want to eat dinner in their bedroom because they’re dysregulated — so be it.

If they need an occasional duvet day from school to reset — so be it.

If they want to do homework sitting on the kitchen floor — so be it.

These are your children. This is your parenting journey.

You know your child better than anyone.  Have confidence in the way you choose to meet their needs.

And if anyone questions it, just smile and say:

“We do what works for us.”

At Family Avenues, we believe there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting — just the one that works for you and your child.